Author Archives: danette

Happiness

mumThis week we will be celebrating International Day of Happiness. This morning I was having a conversation with a dear friend whose birthday is today (Happy birthday Freda). We were talking about the research that is coming out in relation to our brains and happiness. We now know that when we are happy, our brain has access to greater parts of itself – and can find more solutions to problems – than when we are unhappy.

The other wonderful thing about happiness is that, while society used to tell us we would be happy when we were ‘successful’, research is now showing that success comes from being happy. If you do what you enjoy, you are more likely to stick with it and become successful.

So, some things that you can do to help you be happy include:

  • Exercise – not only does your brain grow when we sweat but it also releases wonderful chemicals that make you feel good
  • Get out into nature
  • Hug someone for 7 or more seconds
  • Hang out with happy people
  • Laugh
  • Watch or listen to something that makes you feel good
  • Help others
  • Keep a gratitude journal
  • Tell someone who has had a positive impact on your life how grateful you are.

As you know, I want everyone to have the best life they can – so I love happiness and have experienced firsthand how much of a difference it can make in peoples’ lives.

So take some time today to watch this video about happiness by Soul Pancake – The Science of Happiness – An Experiment in Happiness. You will probably get teary, but it is worth it.

Then I encourage you to do what they did in the experiment.

By the way, the photo above is my mum who, with my dad, have a huge positive impact on my life and I am so grateful they are my parents.  I love you mum and dad, thank you for supporting me and my dreams.

Also if you like music, then check out Pharrell Williams’ song Happy.

Finally, if you have time before Thursday and can make a short video, check out 24hoursofhappiness.com.

While Thursday is the official International Happiness Day, I encourage each of you to make this whole week about happiness: you deserve it.

Until next week, make happiness part of your day – every single day.

 

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

John Lennon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Stillness

DSC_0035This morning I was out walking before the sun came up.  It is a beautiful time of the day.  The sky was still dark and the only ones around were the kangaroos and the magpies.  I have noticed how often at that time of the morning,  the air is amazingly still and then later on it can be completely different. It is like the day is preparing itself for what is ahead, by meditating before it starts getting busy. 

For me the perfect start to my day is 5am meditation, followed by a long walk.   What I notice when I do this is that I am more attuned to the messages I need to hear.  Also I get to appreciate nature when no one else is around.  For example, a possum standing still at the bottom of a gum tree, a kangaroo family grazing on fresh grass shoots, or the magpies getting ready to herald in a new day.  It is a peaceful and wonderful way to begin my day.

I deliberately don’t take anything with me on my walks so I can just be present as I wander around our suburb.  The beauty of no technology is that I am able to access the ‘wise’ part of myself easily, to think through challenges or just notice if something isn’t quite right.

Today, most people don’t switch technology off – whether it is their phone, email, Facebook, Twitter, TV or radio, there is always something going on in the background (and often the foreground as well).  It doesn’t surprise me that stress is at an all-time high.  The only way to be able to listen to your inner wisdom is to get quiet and still.  We all need quiet time to rejuvenate ourselves.

So today, plan 10-30 minutes where you turn all technology off and just sit and be.  If you haven’t done this in a while be prepared to get fidgety.  Your mind will tell you that you are wasting your time, even worse it might get anxious because you are not instantly replying to Facebook messages, texts and emails.  Just sit with that discomfort and listen to your body.  Once it knows that you mean business, you will be surprised at what amazing information comes your way.

If you have a difficult problem that needs to be solved, being still will get you the answer quicker than pushing through the problem – and the answer will generally be better than anything your rational mind can come up with.

So this week I encourage you to take 10-30 minutes off each day from the noise and just sit in stillness.

Until next week, take some time out to be still.

Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.

Eckhart Tolle

Happy Random Acts of Kindness Week

DSC_0041This week I want to cover some of the new research around the impact that kindness has on us and others – and to encourage you to not only continue giving hugs, but also to give a little extra kindness this week.

Kindness is an amazing thing. It has a special impact on us and those around us and it helps create serotonin (known as the ‘happiness hormone’) in our brains.  It makes us feel good.

Research has now shown that an act of kindness doesn’t just increase the serotonin levels in the giver and the receiver of the act, it also boosts serotonin for anyone who observe the act – including complete strangers.

So if you want to start your day feeling good, make a random act of kindness something you try to do most days.  It will make you – and others – feel better.

Another wonderful thing about kindness is that it is contagious.  It turns out that if you are kind to someone, they are likely to pass that kindness on to another person.  So you can create a mini-revolution just by being kind.

Occasionally you will get someone who isn’t comfortable with your kindness.  Give it anyway and don’t react if they are less than grateful.  Sometimes people have had such a hard life that they are naturally suspicious and angry.  While you may not see the impacts of your kindness on these people initially, trust that it is having an impact (even if they don’t want to acknowledge that).

I have included two links here on kindness:

Also, if you haven’t read the book, Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hide, I encourage you to grab a copy as soon as you can.  It is a great read and has some excellent ideas about making the world a kinder place.

I hope you liked the photo at the start of this post.  It is my Uncle Mac who is always doing kind things for us at our farm.  In this one, he was helping Grahame paint our lounge room. We have been very blessed to have so many people be kind and helpful to us over the years – including our parents, our children, wonderful friends and relatives.  We are so grateful for all of your generous gifts of kindness.

Which leads me to one of my random acts of kindness for today.  For those of you who are feeling a bit flat or just want some techniques on how to stay resilient in these ever-changing times, I am running a free Building Resilience Webinar next Monday, 17th February at 6.00pm (AEDT).  Click here for more details.

If you know anyone who might also benefit from some resilience strategies, please pass the link on to them too.

I hope you enjoy the serotonin hits – and please pass some kindness on this week  🙂

Finally, please feel free to share anything in today’s blog that you think might be helpful to others.

Until next week, stay gorgeous and share your kindness.

 

 Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

Plato

 

Your Legacy

IMG_2036I have just finished reading How will you measure your life?  by Clayton M Christensen.  He is an extraordinary man who reminds us that to live a successful life, you need to take time out to reflect on what success means to you – and then you need to navigate life while remaining true to your vision for your life.

It is easy to get caught up in day-to-day dramas and we can be easily distracted from our purpose if we are not careful.  Reading his book and attending a Robin Sharma conference in December has reminded me that the time to start on my legacy is now.

So today, I would like you to consider what you truly want to stand for and leave behind.  Every single one of us has amazing talents and gifts.  Some of us allow those gifts to shine through, but many have hidden them – perhaps because someone once made a comment that helped you decide you wouldn’t share them with the world, or perhaps you are scared that you will be judged or mocked.  Perhaps you were told that your talent wouldn’t pay the bills, that you weren’t actually talented – or no one ever encouraged you to follow your talents. 

Remember, it is never too late to start.

Today my wish for you is that you will take some time to think about what your true talents and gifts are.  The ones that make you happy.  Don’t be one of the people who lives their lives in quiet desperation. 

Today, take one small step to bring your talents and gifts out into this world.  Think about what you want to leave behind on your last day, what you want to be remembered for.

Every single one of us is extraordinary.  There is not another single person on this planet that can do things exactly as you do. 

Today, stand in your brilliance and help light up this world.

You are amazing.

Until next week, be extraordinary.

 

You are unrepeatable.  There is magic about you that is all your own…

D M Dellinger

You Are Gorgeous

IMG_0808Everyone of us has unique talents that make us gorgeous.  No one is exactly the same as you.  Many people hide their talents or dismiss them.  Perhaps they work or live in a  place where their talents aren’t appreciated.

At Robin Sharma’s recent Titan conference there were two pieces of advice that I absolutely loved and I would like to share them with you.  I would encourage you to ponder the wisdom of these words.

The first one came from Dr James Rouse, ‘If you find yourself in a room where you are asked to dim your light, excuse yourself and move forward elsewhere.  Do not let others dim your gift.  Find those that appreciate what you bring to this world’.

The second one was from James Victore, ‘The world wants what you have, bring it out’.

I love both of these quotes because they are terrific reminders that we are all unique and have special gifts that need to be shared.

It is when we stand in our own brilliance that we light up the world.  Whether it is your gorgeous smile that makes others feel loved, your talent with words, or your ability to sit and listen to someone else without judgment.  Whatever it is that you find easy (and probably dismiss because it is easy) are the things you need to do more of and share with the world.

Some people are scared of their talents or have believed well-meaning advice from people who don’t share these talents and therefore have hidden these talents away.  Please make this week the week that you pull out those talents, dust them off and start using them.

My wish for you this week is that you explore and use your talents.  You (and your talents) are a gift to this world and, when you know that to be true, you can’t help but be anything other than gorgeous.

Finally I would encourage you all to read (daily) Marianne Williamson’s beautiful poem, ‘Our Deepest Fear’.

Until next week, be gorgeous.

 

If you listen to your fears,  you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.

Robert Schuller

 

 

 

Hugs

I love hugs.  They have always been my preferred way of saying goodbye.  I also love to use them when someone is looks like they are feeling a bit down.

At a recent four day conference I attended I gave out lots of hugs.  Then one of the presenters talked about how hugs provide wonderful chemical benefits and I decided that I needed to start a hugging revolution.

At the conference we also discussed what makes a great hug: it turns out it has a lot to do with how long the hug goes for.  Apparently if you maintain a hug for 7 seconds or longer it sends your oxytocin crazy. 

Oxytocin is a hormone that also is stimulated when you kiss someone.  It is called the ‘hormone of love.’  It acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain and it gives you feelings of love. 

The sad thing is that in our workplaces (and even sometimes at home) we find that these feelings (and the oxytocin) are being drowned out by negative things such as fear and stress.

Previously I have mostly given hugs family, friends and others who have looked sad.  At the conference I decided that I would greet as many people as I could with a hug. One of the things I observed was that after the first one or two hugs, other people started approaching me for hugs.  By the end of the four day conference there was a lot of people giving long hugs, not just to me but to others around them.  People were smiling and really bonding with one another. 

So this week I am encouraging you to give out some seven second hugs.  Start with your loved ones.  Yes, if you haven’t done it for a while it will feel awkward, but please persist.  The benefits to both of you will be worth any uncomfortableness.  Maybe even reach out to a work colleague who looks a bit down or perhaps just to a stranger (I will leave that up to you to decide).

I hope you will join me in creating a hugging revolution.  The worst thing that can happen to you is you feel good.

Until next week, seven second hugs from me and have a magical one.

A hug is the shortest distance between friends.

Author unknown

The Simple Pleasures In Life

DSC_0136Stop for a moment as you read these words and just be still.  Take a deep breath in and then let it slowly out.  Then do it again.  Feel the simple pleasure of just breathing and being present in your body.

In this hectic world, many of us miss the simple pleasures because we are too busy.

This past week I have had friends and relatives helping out at our farm, doing wonderful things like building raised garden beds and helping to clean the yard up.  My job was to cook for everyone.

I made just about everything from scratch – something I don’t often get to do.  Things like banana and raspberry bread with fig butter, home made sausage rolls, Long Track Cafe’s yummy choc chip cookies and various types of homemade bread.

I have discovered the simple pleasure of making homemade bread.  There is something really satisfying about mixing the few ingredients, letting them rise, kneading the air out of them when they have risen, letting them rise again and, finally, putting the loaf into a hot oven and filling the house with that wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread.  The best bit, however, is the simple pleasure of sitting down with loved ones and enjoying the end result of your labour.

My favourite was a No-Knead Ciabatta Bread recipe by Chef John of Food Wishes Blog  who has a great video showing you how to make it this Italian bread and it is delicious – it takes very little effort and only uses four ingredients.  The major thing is the time it takes to get ready (the bread takes 20 hours to rise) but that is part of simple pleasures.  Don’t be put off by the time, all you need is a little planning.  For example, if you want bread for lunch you start it at 3pm the day before, if you want it for dinner, start it at 9pm the night before.

Here is a list of some of the simple pleasures I have experienced in the past week, which have made my life richer for me noticing and being grateful for them:

  • Wonderful relatives and friends who generously gave of their time and effort to help make our farm more of a home
  • Planting our summer vegetable garden in our new raised garden beds
  • Talking to my parents on the phone
  • Looking at all our rose plants that are in bloom
  • Enjoying homemade wood fired pizzas. bubbles, laughs and great company at our wonderful friends, Sandi and Peter’s place
  • Filling the bird baths with water and watching the birds play in them afterwards
  • Sitting up the back with family and friends and enjoying a meal and a drink
  • Walking along our dirt road holding hands with my husband as we took our dogs for a walk
  • Patting our cats
  • Driving back from the farm with our eldest daughter and having uninterrupted chat time
  • Watching two videos with our youngest.

This week my wish for you is that you look out for, and enjoy, the simple pleasures that fill your life.  Time is the most precious thing in your life – fill it with simple pleasures.

Until next week, have a magical one  :-).

 Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.

Henry David Thoreau 

The Power of Questions

DSC_0016As a coach, one of the early foundational skills we were taught was the power of questions to help our clients resolve their issues.  Since then I have become a big fan of questions, as I have seen them work for many people far better than me handing out advice.

The thing about a good question is that it leads us to the creative side of our brain.  This can raise our awareness about things we may have been missing.

However, it is important to realise that not all questions are equal.  For example, when something bad has happened many people ask, ‘Why me?’.  A better question to ask is, ‘What are the opportunities here?’

By paying attention to the questions you ask, you might notice that the questions you are asking yourself are either making your life better or making it harder.  They will either focus on what you have and how you are getting better, or they will focus on what you don’t have (abundance versus poverty focus).

One of the things I have is a list of great questions which I can refer to.  To make sure they are handy I have them listed on my weekly schedule (which sits on my desk everyday to keep me on track).  So if I get stuck on anything I go straight to my list of questions.  The list includes:

  • What do I want my life to stand for?
  • Will this empower me?
  • What’s the opportunity here?
  • Is this part of my Top 5? (my Top 5 are my Top 5 lifetime goals)
  • How can I 10x this? – This question is from Robin Sharma about giving more value
  • How can I simplify this?
  • How can I make this better?
  • Will this matter in 5 days, 5 weeks or 5 years?

These are just a few of the questions I think can help you reframe your issue into a more positive light – and therefore you are more likely to come up with a better solution.

Another thing to consider when asking questions is to work out where you are coming from when you ask them.  For example, if you are sure you are right and you ask another person, ‘What were you thinking?’ you are likely to get a poor response.  However if you come from a place of curiosity and ask, ‘I am curious, what were you thinking?’ you will get a very different (more positive) response.

If your questions lead you to an either/or answer and you feel stuck, try asking, ‘What other three alternatives can I come up with to solve this problem?’.  I find this helps a lot.

As I was researching for this blog I also did a quick Google search on ‘Powerful Questions’ and I found more terrific questions in an article in Forbes magazine entitled, ’35 Questions that will change your life’.  My three favourite questions from the article are:

  • What did I learn today?
  • Who did I love?
  • What made me laugh?

I would love it if you would share with me some of the questions you ask yourself or others when you get in a difficult situation.

Until next week, have a magical one  🙂

To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask?

Jim Rohn

 

An Attitude of Gratitude

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